Mystery Hole

No, I'm not referring to the ever elusive 8th orifice. I'm referring to the Mystery Hole in West Virginia.

In planning a rafting trip on the New River in West Virginia on Memorial Day weekend, I asked a friend (who happened to be a Mountaineer and a New River veteran) if he had any suggestions. On top of a couple of restaurants (one of which was called "Tudor's Biscuit World"!), he said that the 15-20 minute ride out to the Mystery Hole was well worth it. He said that I'd be "flabbergasted".

Anyway, after reading the Mystery Hole's website, I don't know if I'm ready for the terror that lies just a short drive out of Fayetteville.

Roadsideamerica.com couldn't even give the particulars:

It is difficult to describe what goes on within The Mystery Hole, since it is so mysterious that we are forbidden to reveal it. We can tell you (since it's in the brochure) that you will see a ball roll uphill and a person sitting in a chair somehow balanced on a strip of wood on a wall. Those who have visited other "Mystery" attractions can guess at some of the other freaky hoo-ha that goes on here -- and staging it in a sealed-in underground "hole" is a unique touch that improves its effect. The "Miss Mystery Spot," and "Miss New River Gorgeous" gags are also enjoyable -- but that's all that we can say.

At this point, I'm thinking that it's something that a bunch of hillbillies cooked up after they ingested psylocibin-crusted pig shit. Or perhaps it was the result of a bet to see how many yankees they could get to pay to see a hole in the ground.

Whatever it is, it's bound to be stupid. I will report back.

Fuckin' hillbillies.