You Stole My 'Booyah'. Prepare to Die.

I hate Stuart Scott and his evil discolored eye. I really can't stand the guy. However, I have never ever thought that stalking and/or threatening him would do me much good. I just hope that natural disaster or scandal befalls him so I don't have to endure more "street" Sportscenter episodes. Can't we just pretend for a second that some people don't speak jive when they're talking about sports?

But I digress.

The point is that, according to Scott's Shots, some wacko named Evan Chaggaris threatened various ESPN personalities over several months in 2004 and 2005. His explanation for his behavior follows:

The defendant stated that the reason he was angry with ESPN was because he is a telemarketer and part of his sales pitch dealt with sports issues. The defendant believed that ESPN had his work phone tapped and that ESPN was stealing his sales pitch that he would give to potential clients.

I can see how he might think that. I've complained to priests that God steals all my best ideas. You remember that solar eclipse a couple years ago? Well, I thought of that in 1989.

However, I will admit that Chaggaris' response was a bit over the top. He sent over two dozen letters and left "at least six" voice messages, most of them violent and obscene. Here's a few examples:

“Tell [Sportscaster A] That I’ll Be Up There To Take His A** Out - That’s My Resolution For 2005 . . . I Will Kill This Cockroach, Count On It - And Wait There Until The Job Is Done . . . Trust Me, He’s Going Down.”

“I’ll Move Up To Bristol Or Surrounding Areas [and] Hunt [Sportscaster A] Down Like An Animal And Make It My Goal To Put Him Out, So He’ll Never Appear On Your Show Again.”

“Fire [Sportscaster A] Or I Swear On My Late Mother And Father’s Lives, I’m Gonna Kill This Son Of A Bitch.”

Then it really gets weird:

• “[Sportscaster A] is Going To Get Put In The Hospital, Anyway. Every Day That Heb Goes On [the air is] Another Time That I Ratchet Up The Courage To Beat The Hell Out Of Him” . . . “I’m Going to Put His A** Out Plan and Simple So He Never Works Again, Plain and Simple.”
• “If I See [Sportscaster A] Again, Hitler Kills The Jews, I’ll Pull A Me[in] Kampf, And Take Out This Motherf***er! This A**hole Wants To Mess Around, I’ll Kill [Sportscaster A]!”

Didn't see that Hitler part coming, did you?

Sometimes there's something satisfying about the insane. Or perhaps 'comforting' is the better word. I'm comforted by knowing that I can recognize crazy when I see it, and I think that helps me avoid it myself.

Also, Scott's Shots points out that this may not be the best time for ESPN's new marketing campaign for ESPN Mobile. In case you haven't seen them, they feature an overzealous ESPN stalker hanging around in the lots waiting to accost show anchors.

Despite the pall of Chaggaris hanging over them, I like the ads. Crazy is funny. Get over it.